Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Apparition (2012)

 The Story: A couple are haunted by a supernatural presence that is unleashed during a college experiment.

My Thoughts: I had high hopes going to see this.  Ghost hunters that not only found a ghost, but it comes after them for revenge, sounds like a great concept.  It turned out to be just another by the numbers horror flick.  I can picture the studio executives at the meeting to green light this. 

Soulless Executive #1: We need a cheap horror movie, what's popular right now that we can exploit?
Yes Man: Well, ghost hunting is pretty popular how about that?
Soulless Executive #1: I like that, lots of POV shots, shaky cams, and super dark scenes where you can't see anything.
Yes Man: Exactly, and we'll only have six or seven people in the whole thing, so we can save salaries.
Soulless Executive #1: We're going to want to keep it PG-13 though, we need the "Twilight" crowd to flock to this.
Yes Man: Good call, and I think we can get an actress from that series as well.
Soulless Executive #1:  Kristen Stewart would be willing to do this?
Yes Man: I said an actress, lol. 
Soulless Executive #1:  My bad, sorry. 
Yes Man: If we keep it PG-13 we won't be able to have any nudity or sex scenes, those always go over big in horror movies. 
Soulless Executive #1:  Hmm, well throw in a shower scene but don't have any actual nudity.  Let them use their imagination, and then have her run around in some lingerie for a bit. 
Yes Man: Works for me.  

Never get dressed when you think demons are out to murder you.  

Soulless Executive #1:  That Harry Potter kid is doing horror now, can we get him?
Yes Man: No, but we can get Tom Felton, he played Draco Malfoy in the Potter films.
Soulless Executive #1:  Will anyone know that?
Yes Man: Yes and this will bring in the people who hate "Twilight". 
Soulless Executive #1:  Okay, but dress him so he looks a little like the Potter kid OK?  Oh and since "The Avengers" made a billion dollars grab someone connected to that movie too. 
Yes Man: Got it.

I sound smarter than the others because I have an English accent. 
Soulless Executive #1:  Now let's add in a creepy child scene for no reason, have everyone do incredibly stupid things, and tack on a weirdly ambiguous scare ending.
Yes Man: We'll have it ready in a month.  

That pretty much sums up the movie.   Lots of other little things bothered me too.  Kelly (Ashley Greene) takes a heat sensing camera out of storage.  The camera has been there for years, yet the batteries are 100%.  Patrick (Tom Felton) makes a safe room to hide from the ghost.  It has food, bottled water and two beds, but no toilet. 

My verdict: Wait for the DVD, I wish I had.